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The Bill of No Rights

The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA.

"WE, THE SENSIBLE PEOPLE of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, deluded, and other bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of NO Rights."

ARTICLE I: You do NOT have the right to a new car, big screen TV, biggest and fastest new computer, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but this government is not in the business of guaranteeing these luxuries. Live with an old car and a 19" TV.

ARTICLE II: You do NOT have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -not just you! You may leave the room, change the channel, express a different opinion, etc.., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do NOT have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy because of your stupidity or lack of skill.

ARTICLE IV: You do NOT have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes!

ARTICLE V: You do NOT have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care

ARTICLE VI: You do NOT have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you sit in the electric chair for a short period of time.

ARTICLE VII: You do NOT have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you STILL won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do NOT have the right to a job regardless of race, creed, sexual preference or religion. Take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful and self supportive. Don't expect a free ride from the government or your community.

ARTICLE IX: You do NOT have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness. Make your own happiness, don't sit there and wait for it to be given to you.